Several months ago, our church received a notice from the county that a neighbor had complained about the location of one of our sheds. Essentially, her complaint was that we were blocking her view of “the park”. The park happens to be the church’s private property, thank you very much.
The first fellow who came out said that the two original sheds had been properly placed, and even though county code had changed and they were no longer where they should be, they weren’t going to worry about it. The third shed had been put in line with the others, so he didn’t think there’d be a problem. “Besides, to be perfectly honest with you, all of the private sheds are in violation, too, as they should be far enough from the fence to run a mower behind. If we make you move yours, we’d have to make them move theirs.” (Our property backs up to a row of townhouses, which are shielded from the parking lot by a line of arbor vitea, so our headlights don’t shine in their windows at night. Almost every house has a shed for lawnmowers and the like, placed right up against the fence in one direction or the other – and sometimes in a corner, so it’s wrong from both sides.)
Apparently, the lady called the county a second time, and this time a different inspector came out, with a different set of rules. And then a third fellow turned up, with yet another interpretation of the regulations.
The up-chuck of this whole thing is that all three sheds need to be moved (We were supposed to renew the permit periodically. Who knew?) fifty feet from the property line, and we have to plant trees “for water abatement” because we have to move them onto the grass, rather than have them sitting smack dab in the middle of the parking lot.
And I’ll give you one guess where those sheds – and trees – are going to be placed.
So while The Squire is fighting that little blaze, I had a problem with a member of the congregation. I have a warped sense of humor, and an off-hand, flippant remark, posted in the church newsletter, which I write up, caused one of our members to feel tremendously insulted. I have tried to contact this person to apologize, but there has been no response. This person and I have known each other for eons, and I don’t go around deliberately insulting people. If you have a problem, contact me, and I will fix it. The article could have easily been rewritten.
Yeesh.
And then, this morning, as I was getting ready to leave for a meeting, I discovered I’d left my purse in The Squire’s car during church yesterday (I don’t need it unless they’re selling Girl Scout cookies!) and had no wallet or car keys. He was off doing battle with the county, so I called him to see how long he would be – and his cell phone was on the desk, being recharged.
Oh, and Friday, the cold water pipe to the bath tub split – and we only have one bathroom.
I have scheduled my nervous breakdown for early May. Stand back.
thisendoftheswamp 
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