thisendoftheswamp

It is a Rule of the Universe that people who need ten hours sleep always marry people who only need six. As a consequence, I am usually sound asleep long before The Squire comes to bed, and as a rule still sawing wood when he gets up.

This morning I came downstairs at 8:30, fixed my coffee, and sat down at my computer to read the online newspaper and the comics, and generally get geared up for the day. As soon as I started reading the paper, The Squire began handing me pieces of paper to put in the recycling.  “Take this.” “Throw this away for me.” The recycling bin is on my side of the desk, so his requests were not unreasonable, it was simply that the timing was off.

I have a shirt which reads “I drink coffee for your protection”, and it’s no joke. You do NOT want to get near me until I’ve finished my coffee – preferably in peace. I finally asked him if there was any particular reason he felt compelled to clear off his desk now, and just exactly what time had he gotten out of bed, by the way?  “Oh, about seven or so.”

At least he had the good grace to act embarrassed.

We have added a third great grandson to our family.  Grandson Christian and Skye had a son, Xavier, an 9:53 on November 13. He weighed in at 6 pounds, 9 ounces.  Everyone is doing well.  We told the other two young marrieds they need to have daughters to even up the odds.

The Squire has requested (under pain of death – sorta) that I start emptying the myriad boxes, crates, and cartons from my mother’s “estate”. Today, I actually plowed through three cardboard boxes.

A few days ago I had discussed the Charge-a-Plate that most of the people in Baltimore carried in those pre-VISA days. Lo and behold, in one of the boxes, I found my mom’s plate, and the “velvet” lined case used to carry it. Notice on the case itself, a small ring to attach the case to the inside of your purse.  Even though the card carries my mom’s signature on the back, the front is embossed with my dad’s name, Ernest Parker, as it was assumed in the 40s and 50s that the husband would be the breadwinner in the house hold.

Totally worthless, but pretty nifty, none the less. Something for my kids to sort through when I shuffle off.

Last night I tied the dog out about 8:00. When I went out at 8:15 he and the rope were gone. The usual routine. Check the road, and then wander around with a flash light, calling his name. (Why the H— doesn’t he ever pull these stunts during the day, when I can find him?)

I heard him bark once, which gave me an idea where he was – back and to the left. Didn’t find him in the neighbor’s yard, so decided to see if he had wandered into the next yard up. Our neighbor has not mowed his back yard all summer, so I was trekking knee-deep in my robe and a pair of snow boots – I know; always the fashion plate! – tripping over vines and stepping into pot holes.  Finally found the little bugger, snagged on a rosebush, and the line stretched as far as he could go. I had to follow it under bushes and around trees to unhook him, and then the fool wanted to explore some more.

I am too old for this nonsense.

A friend came over today to help me try to finish papering the kitchen (How long, O Lord, how long?) and remarked that one of our light switches was upside down. No big deal. My dad and The Squire had cut the wire too short when they installed that light and it wasn’t worth redoing the entire thing.

On the other hand, all of the switches in the house where I lived with the Late and Unlamented were put in right side up, but wired upside down.

I asked him about it, and he looked at me as if I was a banana short of a bunch. “See that?” he said, pointing to the word OFF on the switch, which was pointing down at the moment, but the lights were on.  He flipped the switch up, so the word OFF was hidden, and we stood there in the dark. “Now, what’s so odd about that?”, he asked.

I didn’t have the heart – or the nerve – to tell him, but it did have a sort of odd-ball logic to it. I simply had to remember they were Russian switches.

Good old Colonel Upizoff.