Archive | June, 2017

Disappearing Act

30 Jun

On one of the blogs I follow – – Mary Ann noted that she is becoming her mother. She purchases one thing at the store, only to have it morph into something else entire when she unloads the bags at home. Regular flour becomes self-rising. Creamy peanut butter becomes chunky. Very mysterious.

I’ve had that happen from time to time, but what baffles me most is things that disappear from my kitchen, and then reappear. Every once in a while I need some off-beat ingredient. A bon-bon I make calls for shredded coconut. The hot cider for the Christmas Party needs cinnamon sticks. Not really unusual, but not items I use every week. I’ll buy a package, use what I need, and then wrap the rest and put it in the freezer or fridge so I have them for next time.

But they’re never where I put them when I need them again.

I will tear the kitchen apart looking for the cinnamon sticks, and finally go buy another lot. I’ll open the freezer to stash this package and there are the originals! Where have they been hiding? I swear they weren’t on that shelf when I looked before.

Saturday I made some “Bliss Balls” for a farewell party at church. They are gluten free, and not overly sweet. Two packages of cream cheese, one-half cup of drained crushed pineapple, and another half-cup of chopped pecans. I mixed this up on Friday evening and put it in the fridge to firm up overnight. Saturday I looked all over the place for the coconut I had carefully placed in the freezer, and it was g-o-o-o-ne. Not in the freezer, not in the kitchen cabinets, not in the fridge.

Off to the grocery store for another bag of the stuff. Scooped out little balls of the cream cheese mixture, and rolled them in the coconut, and put them back in the fridge until Sunday morning.

I found the original bag of coconut in one of the crisper drawers yesterday morning. That is NOT where I keep it!

I swear, on a still night I can hear my groceries laughing at me!

(A friend is going to try this recipe using silken tofu and a bit of powered sugar to see if she can make it lactose-free, as well as gluten free. Next we’ll see if we can make it without any ingredients at all!)

A Good Pair

23 Jun

Tuesday morning I bent over to pick something off the floor and hit my head on the corner of a cupboard so hard my teeth banged together. The Squire thought I was going to pass out. So did I for a moment or two. Since then my back has been giving me absolute fits.

I used to have a lot of trouble with my back, but I had surgery in September of 2015 to fuse two vertebrae in my neck. (I have photographic proof that me head is screwed on properly, in case anybody ever asks.) The pain I’m having now is in the same place as it was then. Have I compressed a disc? Have I torn something loose? I’ll find out on Monday. In the meantime I’m staggering from pillar to post with Lidocaine patches.

Yesterday morning I can home from a meeting at church to find the lawnmower on its side in the ditch along the road. Lovely. The Squire had been mowing, swatted at an insect, lost control of the machine, and the rest is history. He did manage to twist to the side so his feet weren’t damaged – that would have been a catastrophe – and he didn’t go in head first, but he banged up his shoulder rather famously. It is not broken or dislocated, but it is very sore and he can’t lift his arm past a certain point.

We had to go to the grocery store this morning, and we had a grand time getting the bags out of the cart and into the car, and then from the car to the house. I can’t bend and he can’t lift.

We make a good pair!


Got Some ‘Splainin’ To Do

14 Jun


Back when I was working with a private doctor in Aberdeen, I used to drop off my wash on the way to work at a laundromat near the office. For $5 a load, it was washed, dried, and folded. All I had to do was take it home and put it away. (This was back when washers were $3 a load.)

The day before we left for vacation, I dropped off a “mixed load” – some whites, and a handful of colours – to empty the hamper before we headed out of town.

When I stopped by to collect my clothes, the clerk told me “we have a problem”.  On top of my basket was a pair of blue jeans, which I did not (still don’t) wear. A bunch of men’s T-shirts were folded on top, and when I unfolded them, they had pictures and words The Squire would never have worn. There might have been a few things that actually belonged to us, but the vast majority of the items were not ours.

They had hired a new person, and she had dumped out a half-dozen laundry baskets, sorted the clothes by colour and then tried to remember what things went where.

It was impossible to pile the clothes on the table and let us all grab our own items. The first customer to come in that afternoon had been a trucker from out-of-town; he had grabbed his plastic garbage bag, plunked down his hard-earned cash, and driven off into the sunset.

That poor man is probably still trying to explain to his wife how my red bra got mixed in with his clothes.

And thanks to Jim Unger for reminding me.

Live and Learn

6 Jun

Soaking burgers in a marinade makes them fall apart.

Go Figure

5 Jun

About a month ago The Squire and I purchased some “burgers” which turned out to be absolutely tasteless. Really blah. The patties have been sleeping quietly in the deep freeze, sealed in their little plastic wrapper, waiting for us to either toss them or pluck up enough courage to cook ’em up for dinner.

When I went to the store this morning I grabbed a bottle of Italian dressing, stripped those little babies nekid, put them in a baggie and poured dressing over them. We’ll see if it helps. They simply can’t get much worse.

The Squire has wisely refrained from commenting on the fact that we bought low-fat food and are now soaking it in oil.


Paris Accord

1 Jun

Donald Trump has pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord.

I have the same feeling in the pit of my stomach as if I’d just heard someone close to me had died. Or war had been declared.  How much damage is that man willing to do to the world and its people for the sake of his own wallet?

Good Lord, deliver us.