Crabs!

22 Jul

Today is my birthday, and The Squire offered to take me anyplace my little heart desired for lunch or dinner. Since we prefer to eat our main meal in the middle of the day, I originally suggested going to a locally owned Oriental restaurant, but late yesterday I decided what I REALLY  wanted was to go out for hard crabs.

And so we did.

There is a nice place not too far from here that had mediums crabs for $45 a dozen, hard crabsand when you consider that will feed two people it’s not a bad deal. Two ears of corn and two bottles of O’Doul’s probably didn’t come to any more than a nice meal at a really good restaurant, and we both enjoyed every minute of it. And we had three left over for later.

While we ate, we reminisced about other times we had eaten crabs.  When The Squire first came to Baltimore, fresh from the mountains of North Carolina he’d asked his coworkers to order for him while he went to wash his hands. When he got back to the table he discovered they’d gotten him a soft crab sandwich. All elbows sticking out from under the bread, and when he lifted the lid his lunch was staring back at him.

When we were going together we ran into some friends at the store; they bought two dozen crabs and met us back at my apartment. I showed The Squire how to eat a crab and told him I’d fix him a sandwich. We all got to talking and it suddenly dawned on me I’d never gotten him something to eat. I looked at the pile of shells in front of him and exclaimed, “How many of those things did you eat, anyway?”

“Six. And you’re no more surprised than I am.”

He’s never looked back.

We went to a crab feast held by my sister’s church. I don’t remember the price, but everybody got six crabs for their money. Six crabs in a brown paper sack.  That was it. Nothing else, and I mean nothing.  We were reduced to cleaning the crabs with my sister’s embroidery scissors and The Squire’s pen knife. Somebody took pity on us and gave us a fistful of napkins, and an extra mallet.

For a while I was allergic to ingested iodine, and went along with some friends anyway. They suggested I take some Benadryl before we leave to prevent breaking out in hives, so I could eat with them. The next morning I was so dizzy I sat at the dining room table with my head in my hands to keep it from floating away. I pressed my elbows on the table to keep it from doing the same!

Crabs are delicious, and eating them breaks every possible rule of good etiquette. Newspaper for a tablecloth, mallet and knife instead of a knife and a fork, you wash your hands in a bucket of water, and put your elbows on the table. It’s not rude to ask the host what he paid for the meal; it’s pretty much understood somebody will ask.

If you ever come to Baltimore we’ll try to take you out for crabs. Even if it isn’t my birthday.

 

 

Advertisements

One Response to “Crabs!”

  1. AJ July 22, 2019 at 10:22 pm #

    Happy birthday!!! I love crab so that sounds like the best birthday lunch ever! Up here we take the boat out and then set up the crab cooker on the bow- bring them out of the water, straight into the crab pot and then into my tummy:) I’ve also spent a lot of Christmas Eves shelling crab for the seafood cocktail for Christmas dinner. 🤣

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: