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So Much For Squirrel Guards

28 Aug

The Squire decided to move one of the bird feeders, because the squirrels were cleaning it out. He put it in the middle of the garden, and placed a metal guard on both that pole, and the one next to it. As you can see, this worked perfectly.

For the squirrels.

The Dish Dilemma

26 Jul

We use disposable plastic trays from the supermarket to feed the foxes. When we take out one dish, we bring in the other, but lately the dishes have been disappearing. Obviously, the critters are carrying them off into the “back forty”. The Gas and Electric company hasn’t been mowing back there for a while, and a large fallen tree has prevented us from getting there ourselves. I’m not keen on traipsing through knee-high weeds to find a plastic tray, but it’s frustrating.

No idea why the foxes are carrying them off, but The Squire thinks maybe they are using them for shingles on their den. Whatever it is, at this rate they’ll have a service for twelve in black plastic.

If I could figure out how to shrink this picture it would help. Anyway, this is the tree that prevents The Squire from mowing the back forty. Just below the split in the tree you can see a small break in the grass; that is the path the animals have worn going back and forth. We call it the “Fox Trot”.

The dish was gone again this morning. I’m going to stop at the thrift store and see if I can snag an angel food pan. Pound a stake into the ground and drop the pan over it, and that ought to keep the little dickens from carrying it away.

Red in Tooth and Claw

21 Jul

Up until Saturday, we had three snapping turtles in the pond – one I call Jaws, who is simply HUGE, Little Girl, who is small and has a white shell, and a third one that I dubbed Big Boy. I have no idea the actual sex of any of them, but it’s my front yard and I make the rules.

When I went out to feed them Saturday evening, I only saw Jaws and Little Girl – until I noticed a whitish blob over near the water lilies. Somebody had chewed through Big Boy’s neck.

I have my suspicions.

Quote Without Comment

8 Jul

This is from a cartoonist in Germany.

So Much for Helping the Middle Class

4 Jul

They forgot Maryland’s own Wunderkind – Andy Harris. How this guy ever got reelected is beyond me.

Sorry for the political outburst, but . . .

Saturday Night in Kiev

3 Jul

Our next-door neighbors had a party last night that went on until at least 10:30 – complete with heavy duty fireworks. Honestly, it sounded as if they were shooting off cannons up there! I finally turned off the house alarm and went out to get The Squire’s noise-cancelling headphones from the car, the ones he uses when he mows the lawn. A bit awkward to wear, but I did finally get some sleep.

OK, not everybody gets up at 6:00 on Sunday to go to church, but Yeesh!

The War on Women, Target Edition

28 Jun

Every week I run into Target and buy 2 boxes of 50 tampons, which I repackage and drop off at the local food back. I am, thank heavens, well past the ways of women, but I remember from my days “between husbands” that this is one of many things you couldn’t get with food stamps. This and toilet paper. Soda, candy, chips, OK, but not sanitary supplies, including soap.

Last week I didn’t feel up to going, so I asked The Squire if he’d mind grabbing the tampons for me. When he got home, I saw he had purchased a name brand, rather than Target’s own. I had to be out on Sunday, so after my meeting I went to the Target to exchange them. I joked with the young lady in Customer Service about sending a man to do a woman’s job, but I admitted I was thankful he was willing to even do this for me, as many men would rather die than go down that aisle.

Well, the reason he didn’t get the store brand is they are all out of them. In fact, it looked as if somebody has got through with a giant vacuum cleaner; the shelves were bare. I went back to the counter to tell her this and her co-worker remarked she’d heard there is a nationwide shortage of the blessed things.

“Yeesh! What next? There is a formula shortage and now this!”

“I’ll tell you what’s next. The Supreme Court . . .”

Both girls started in on that topic, full bore. Let’s just say they were not happy. After they kicked that ball around the court a couple of times, I commiserated, and allowed as how if the three of us weren’t allowed to run things, it just wasn’t going to be done properly, and took my leave.

Please Wear Your Hearing Aids!

20 May

One of the features of our new alarm system is that it can be accessed from The Squire’s phone. When we are away, we can disarm the door so somebody can come in to feed the various critters, and then lock up when they leave. This is very handy, but it does have its drawbacks.

Yesterday, The Squire was looking at surveillance footage and somehow managed to arm the system, which neither of us realized until I went outside – and the alarm went off! I dashed back inside and disarmed it, but it was loud enough that both neighbors called to ask if everything was OK.

The Squire didn’t hear a thing.

The Approaching Storm

4 May

We had an earthshattering thunderstorm last night. I was semi-awake, as it had been hailing for a bit and the stones banging on the air-conditioned had sort of “brought me to the surface”. Suddenly, there were several sharp, rapid bangs which I honestly thought were artillery fire! With the current situation, it seemed perfectly natural. As I was plotting my next move, the sound turned to regular thunder, and I relaxed a bit. I did turn on the radio to see if there were any sort of announcements, and the sirens in the area were silent, so after a quick peek out the window, I went back to bed.

The Squire slept through the entire business.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

4 May

After the Recent Unpleasantness of last month’s break-in, The Squire and I decided to invest in a motion camera security system.

The crew arrived at 7:45 yesterday, while we were eating breakfast. Guess who was still in her robe and had her hair in curlers? And her teeth out! We never did really get the kitchen straight, as the men were in and out all day long. Not only that, but they had to plug the camera over the front porch into the socket behind our bed. The bedroom is a mess, and there are dust bunnies under that bed large enough to cause serious damage if they ever get loose! At least the bed was made, and I suppose they’ve seen worse, but still . . .

They said they could not use any of the outside connections in case somebody figured out how to unplug or disable the cameras from outside. Makes sense, once it was explained.

Abdul, the young man who seemed to be in charge, was delightful. Sunny and cheerful, and willing to make little jokes. He explained all the intricacies of the system to The Squire and made sure we both knew how it worked before he left. I know The Squire and I will both sleep better at night, knowing that both God and Vector Security will be watching over us at night.