Music To My Ears

13 Dec

Apparently The Squire lived a sheltered life; he’s never heard any of the good songs. A good while back, I was singing (I guess you can call it that) a little ditty that went this way:

Looking through the knothole in Father’s wooden leg,/Oh, who will wind the clock when I am gone?/Go get the ax; there’s a fly on Baby’s nose,/And a boy’s best friend is his mother.

He accused me of making it up.

A few days ago, he was helping me make Christmas cookies, and complained ~ rightly so ~ that the cat was in the way, winding back and forth underfoot.

Oh, they’re always in the way/The cows eat them for hay./ They hide the dirt on Grandpa’s shirt/Oh, they’re always in the way!

Again, he accused me of making up the whole thing. Now, mind you, he really does have a reason for feeling this way. Last week, El Condor Passa came on the radio, and I began to yodel. I’d rather have a quarter than dime/Oh, yes, I w-o-u-u-ld./ I’d rather have a Quarter than a dime/Just any t-i- m-e.

Yes, that’s one of my songs. As if you couldn’t tell.



The Water is Rising!

8 Dec

Although the are Some People in High Places who claim not to accept climate change, those of us who live in less rarified places know it for a fact.

My cousin has a sea wall around his home and the water has risen quite a bit since he had the place built. When I take Blazer for a walk in the park, I can see the river encroaching farther up the boat ramps. But mostly, we notice it here at the Rice Paddy. This place has always been a bit of a swamp, but it has gotten progressively worse. By road, we live about 5 miles from the bay, but as the crow flies it’s only a bit over a mile. While there are some valleys to be raised up, and mountains to be laid low between us and the Chesapeake, we are essentially at sea level here.

And we can tell.

Although the ground has always had damp spots – oh, heck! wet spots! – we now have more, and worse. Where once the spring outside the den window only ran in wet weather, now it runs all the time. All the ground around the front porch is soft and squishy – a sort of grab-your-boots- and-pull-them-off-your-feet mud.  It’s really bad when you need waders just to mow the lawn!  Y’know, there’s just a limit to how large a pond we can dig.

We have finally accepted the inevitability of having to move; we hoped to have time to dawdle a bit, but the entire place is beginning to sink into the mire.

Dental Blues

4 Dec

I’ve had a toothache for the last couple of weeks, and believe me, ignoring it didn’t make it go away. As a matter of fact, I had not been ignoring it, but was in and out of the hospital and just didn’t have time to get to the dentist. I was on industrial strength painkillers anyway, so I survived.

I trotted off this morning to be there at 8:00 AM, and after a short consultation the dentist and I agreed to pull the thing out. It was the very last molar on the lower right, and sat lower than the other teeth, so I didn’t even know it was there. (I’d actually told the technician it was the tooth directly in front of this one.) We had to use so much Novocain I think the fingers on my right hand are numb, too.

I grew up before Baltimore had fluoride in the municipal water system, and have had well water most of the time since then. Believe me, it shows. The dentist showed me the tooth, and above the gum line, what wasn’t cavity was filling.

Gastronomic Delights

2 Dec

Yesterday we saw a restaurant which advertised that they sold “Gyros and Quesadillas”. Both The Squire and I had giggle-fits for several minutes over that one.  A few weeks ago we passed a place that sold “Pizza and Kebobs” which also tickled us.

We are easily amused, if nothing else.

It has snowed most of yesterday, but we both had doctor’s appointments so we set off through the slush. Missions accomplished, we decided to run into Aldi’s to pick up milk and eggs, plus a few items for dinner.  We were in line when the woman behind me told her son to “run get some soup”. I turned to her and said, ” That reminds me. I need to get some cream soup. Today is just a Tuna-Noodle sort of day” and I  dashed off, leaving The Squire to check out. When I returned, she asked me about my menu suggestion. Apparently, she’s lived this long without ever having encountered what our girls call “Noodle Fish”.  The recipe is certainly easy enough and it’s stuff most of us have in our homes, so I gave it to her while she typed it into her cell phone.

Eight ounces of egg noodles, cooked to a little under done. A can of cream soup (I prefer mushroom, but use what you wish), a soup can of milk, and one or two cans of tuna. Mix the milk, soup, and tuna together in a casserole dish while the noodles are boiling; make them slightly al dente as they will cook some more in the oven. Stir in the cooked noodles and bake at 350 for 20 minutes.  It will serve four – less if you have teenagers.

Whoa, Nellie!

22 Nov

I bought this rocking horse at the local flea market about three weeks ago. I figured it would make a nice Christmas gift for my Amish girlfriend’s two little children. When you squeeze the ears one side make the horse shake his head and whinny, and the other side makes a clip-clop noise.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe dog was not at all sure he liked it, sniffing and growling at the thing. The cat ran into the kitchen to see what was going on, and slammed on the brakes, skidding several feet. He took one look, arched his back and hissed! You’d have thought I’d have brought in a live animal into the house!


18 Nov

I went to the dermatologist on Thursday morning to see about a persistent sore on the corner of my mouth. No biggie, he told me. It is essentially a bit of chapped lips. When you curl up on your side to sleep, you drool a bit. Everybody does, and sometimes it causes this sort of thing. He prescribed an ointment which would both clear up the sore and form a barrier between the skin and the moisture.

I went over to the drugstore on Friday morning and was told they had to order the cream, as they didn’t have that size in stock. Hmm.

Went I went back yesterday afternoon, the clerk handed me a bag which seemed a bit heavy. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA I’ve posed the jar beside a two cup measure so you can see how large this baby actually is. A bloody pound of the stuff! I’m seventy-six years old! I won’t live long enough to use all of it!

What was the doctor thinking? No wonder the girl said they didn’t have this size on the shelf!  It would have cost me the same price for a small tube as it did for this washtub, but the wastefulness of it just blows me away.



17 Nov

There is an article in today’s Baltimore Sun in which the man in yesterday’s post both explained and apologized for his outburst. I have edited it and omitted his name.

He stated that the play, Fiddler on the Roof, reminded him of Donald Trump’s policies. His comparison “came out wrong” and was “beyond a mistake”. “Instantly it was like, ‘Oh my God, what did you do?’ The thing that I can’t stand is Trump spreading hatred, and what did I do? I spread hatred.”

So – it was, indeed, beyond a mistake, and well beyond stupid, but at least he admitted it and apologized, although his life will never be the same.