Tag Archives: stupid stunts


15 Feb

The Squire, bless him, fixed dinner today, which involved cutting some carrots into very thin slices. I got out the “shooter” part of my Osterizer and started putting the carrots through the machine. They weren’t coming out the tube as quickly as I thought they should (in fact, I actually thought I had put the blade in upside down, which is impossible) so I stuck my hand up into the chute to pull the slices out.

Without turning off the machine.

As my dad used to say, “You can make a thing fool-proof, but not damned fool-proof.”

The underside of the cutting blade has two ribs on it, to push the slices down the chute, and I stuck my hand in far enough that one of the ribs caught my finger. The middle finger on my right hand is now deep purple, and someplace in the bowl of carrots is a fair-sized chunk of fingernail.

We will draw a curtain over the Discussion which followed.

This is a much older machine, the base of which accommodates a mixer, a blender, a food processor, and the aforementioned grater and slicer. Quite a handy gizmo, as long as you don’t put your fingers in it.