thisendoftheswamp

Or, just the bread.

Two of the blogs I follow have been discussing homemade bread, and I thought I’d post the two recipes I make most often. The Squire is very fond of these – one is all-round excellent; the other makes wonderful sandwiches. I’m not going to bother telling you how to mix, knead, and punch down. All bread is made the same way. I will admit that I use my bread machine now instead of doing everything by hand. I turn out the dough after it has risen the first time, shape it, and put it into loaf pans to bake. At least it looks as if I’ve been working hard.

And now, on with the show!

Onion Dill Bread
2 1-pound loaves – use 8 x 4 pans
Warm in microwave:
•¾ cup cottage cheese, •¾ cup sour cream or full fat yogurt
•3 Tablespoons sugar •3 Tablespoons minced dried onion
•2 Tablespoons dried dill weed, •1-1/2 Tablespoons butter, •¼ cup water
Put warm mixture into bread machine or large mixing bowl. Add:
•3-1/2 cups flour, •¼ teaspoon baking soda
•1-1/2 teaspoons salt,  •1 unbeaten egg
•1 package yeast,  •1-2 Tablespoons vital gluten (optional)
Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, then until it registers 190-F internally.
The original recipe called for dill seeds, but The Squire doesn’t care for them, so I tried it with the dill weed and we really like it that way. Full fat yogurt gives the bread more of a tang, but that’s a matter of your choice. Don’t substitute “diet” yogurt. You need the fat content to make the bread work. The extra gluten makes the dough easier to work, but you don’t need it if you have bread flour.

Rich White Bread
2 1-1/2-pound loaves – use 9×5 pans
Warm in microwave:
•1-1/2 cup milk,  •¼ cup honey,  •¼ cup butter
(Pour the milk in a 2 cup measure, then add the honey, so you don’t have to dirty the ¼ cup measure.)
5 to 5-1/2 cups flour,  •2 eggs
•2 teaspoons salt,  •1 package yeast,  •2 tablespoons Gluten, if desired

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes, or until it registers 190º-F internally. This is an excellent loaf for any purpose. Toasts nicely, and makes divine jelly bread

My first husband, also known as the Late and Unlamented, was worse than any other six people I know when it came to snakes. He didn’t like to walk under trees because he was convinced a snake would fall on him. This was probably the biggest reason mowing the lawn gradually turned into my job; he didn’t want to trim the edges.  On day the girls found what we call a King snake in the front yard. Their markings resemble a Diamond Back rattle snake, but are not venomous; they are probably related to boas. However,  they will coil and strike to frighten you away. “Don’t tell your father. He’ll go all to pieces.”

And of course, immediately it’s “Daddy, Daddy, come look what we found!”

He came out with the “S” volume of the encyclopedia under one arm, and a broom under the other. Immediately he started poking at the poor critter.  The snake had taken refuge between the roots of an oak tree,  and of course, it sprang out at him. He frantically began flipping pages in the book, and then thrust it at me. “There! There!  It’s a pit viper!”

“Oh, for the love of Mike! They don’t even grow in this country.”  (Actually, they do, but I wasn’t dumb enough to tell him that.)

“No, look! It’s curled up in the pit of that tree!’

“Well, you better watch yourself. Its mate is probably up in that tree.” I took the girls and went inside, with him hot on my heels.

When The Squire and I bought this house there were no proper screens on the windows, only those slide apart things that honestly do no good at all. They certainly don’t stop mosquitos, and we discovered they don’t slow down snakes, either. I went into the living room one  morning, the summer after we moved in, and discovered a brown snake on the mantle, curled back and forth up the corner molding, practically balancing on its tail. I was perfectly capable of handling it myself, but I went out to round up The Squire so he could do Manly Things for his bride. He was mowing the lawn, and slowed the tractor when I approached. I cupped my hands and hollered, “Can you come get the snake off the mantle?”  “Yeah. OK.” And then he threw the machine into reverse and looked at me. “What did you say?”

Someone else has remarked that might be a good thing to have snakes, because they catch mice. Just as well, because out cats are just about useless.

That’s another story.

We got into a discussion over on Arlo and Janis  https://www.gocomics.com/arloandjanis about snakes, of all things.  This is one form of wildlife that has never particularly bothered me.  They’ll startle me, if I come across one unexpectedly, but so will a Great Blue or a fox.   I can tell “safe” snakes from “dangerous” ones, and behave accordingly.

When I was a child we lived in housing which had been put up after WWII in an area which was farm land only shortly before. From time to time, Mum would find a garter snake in the flower bed, and let it curl around her hand and wrist. If I promised to be very gentle and not squeeze, she’d let me hold the little critter. She also pointed out how the head just blended into the body, and that meant it wouldn’t hurt me. “If you see a snake with an arrowhead, that’s dangerous, and you mustn’t try to touch it.”  Many times I’ve walked up when a bunch of men are fluttering around a snake, grabbed the poor thing, and walked off with it.

When I was married to my first husband, we lived in a very old house, which had a stone cellar. We also had at the time a passel of cats, a rabbit, a Collie dog, and a bantam hen named Loretta, all of whom would settle in a row on an old daybed on the back porch. One of our cats was wildly in love with Loretta, and would lay on his back, patting her under the chin. Loretta would gather up her skirts, look at Joe over her glasses, and scoot down a couple of inches. Joe would roll over closer to her, and try again. There were other shenanigans going on between the dog and the rabbit, and the rabbit and the cats, but I’ll leave that for you to imagine.

So – to get to the point here, one August morning the Gas Man came to read the meter, and I opened the basement door for him. A few moments later he came upstairs, leaned against the door, and took a deep breath. He glanced out onto the porch and watched Joe and Loretta in their ill-starred romance, and all of the other craziness, and then glared at me. “Ma’am, did you know there was a snake in your washing machine?” Apparently, the poor soul thought I had put it there! It was hot as blazes outside and the basement was cool, so the snake had come in to be more comfortable, fallen into the washer and couldn’t get out. I asked the man to help me, and he practically fell over trying to get back up the steps. “Oh, for Pete’s sake, hold the window open, and I’ll put him out.”

“Y-y-yes, ma’am.” And so we did.

Both in that house and this one we get snakes in the attic from time to time, trying to get warm in the late fall, and we can hear them rustling around. In the spring, the attic gets darned hot, and we hear them looking for the exit. It sounds as if somebody is dragging a body across the floor, which is pretty much what’s going on.

We have a stream beside the house and a large pond in the front, and frankly I’d deal with snakes than snapping turtles. Snakes don’t attack you!

To be continued:

About fifteen years ago we lost the big tree outside the den window to a storm, and replaced it with a Japanese Maple. The little tree did very well for a long time, but the rising sea levels have made this place even swampier than it was when we bought it. There is a new spring at the top of the walk and the water runs into the garden. Note, I said there is a spring at the top of the hill. Not the bottom, where sensible springs would be, but at the top. Jack and Jill live here!

And so, the poor little tree has drowned.

This morning The Squire and I discussed the likelihood of uprooting the skeleton and planting something else. I did a search for “trees that do well in wet, sunny places”. The first thing that came up was an artificial ficus tree.

The only thing that would worry me is that the pot might sink into the ground.

We couldn’t have company, but this is a one of the Squire’s absolute favorite meals. The original called for 4 chicken breasts, but we honestly prefer the dark meat, so I make it with chicken thighs from Costco. This, a baked potato and a salad, with Brown Sugar and Bourbon ice cream for dessert, was a feast.

Chicken in Caper Cream Sauce

4 boneless, skinless chicken pieces of your choice

1 teaspoon lemon pepper, 1 teaspoon dill weed, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons butter, 1/2 cup whipping cream, 2 tablespoon capers, drained and rinsed

Combine the spices in a small bowl (a custard cup works beautifully) and season the meat. I put 1/2 teaspoon on each side of each piece of meat, and rub it in, but I’m inclined to be OCD, so . . .

Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and turn the heat to high long enough to brown it on both sides, then cover the pan and reduce the heat, turning the meat occasionally. I use a meat thermometer, to avoid over or under cooking.  Set it for 165, and you’re perfect!

Remove the chicken to a plate and keep it warm. Increase the heat to high, and stir in the cream, scraping the bottom of the pan to get all the “goodies”, about 3 minutes. Stir in the capers, and pour the sauce over the chicken.

The Squire says that when I open my restaurant, this should be at the top of the menu. Figure 313 calories preserving if you use breasts, and slightly more for thighs.

What? No hats and gloves?

* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. I won’t be the drinker. Maryland has closed the liquor stores. Just as well; guns store are open.

* I used to spin that toilet paper as if I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it as if I’m cracking a safe.

* I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

* Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

* PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

* Grand daughter says homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

* I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

* This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.

* So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

* Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

* My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

* Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

* I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

* I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

* Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

* Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.

* Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under!

The author of one of the blogs I follow, A Joyful Chaos, posted yesterday about “The Daily Dozen” – chores she does every day, such as washing dishes, cooking meals, and picking up after her children. Sounds a lot like home, although picking up toys, etc., was always the job of the girl who left things around. The Squire would come home and demand “Whose books are those? Did your mother leave that hat on the table?”  And hop to it, kiddo!

Both Blazer and I take pills that have to be on an empty stomach; one for him and one for me, then he goes outside while I put on the coffee and fix breakfast for him and the cat. Shake the rugs outside and toss them in the dryer on fluff while I sweep the kitchen floor and empty the dishwasher. Now, there’s only the two of us, and we have enough dishes and cutlery to only run the dish washer in the evening.  As I empty it, I put the dishes for breakfast in the oven to warm up. Fix my coffee and go check the email and a few blogs.  Fixing breakfast is The Squire’s job; I fix dinner and supper.

I could do without a lot of things – we don’t have a washing machine, for instance – but my dishwasher, bread machine, and self cleaning oven are WON-derful! I can do all of these things the “old fashioned” way but it’s nice to have these helpers. She also lists things she does on a weekly basis, such as shopping, laundry, and such. I do one room a day throughout the week – kitchen on Monday, clear out one refrigerator shelf each week, and the freezer when we have five Mondays in a month, bathroom on Tuesday, etc.

Right now, I’m using my “spare time” to see if I can find the bottom of my sewing basket. Honestly, I’d rather make two new items than mend one! We’re not going to be able to get together with my nephew and his family, so I’m getting together a box of goodies to mail to them.  I made their little girl two dresses for her Bitty Baby. I gave the boys a kit to make a light house two years ago – I think – and I have some very nice things The Squire had purchased for me to put in it. A delicate spyglass on a tripod, and some seagulls perched on pilings. When we go to pick up the dough-nation from Panera on Thursday nights I stop at Target and see what sort of wonders they have in the “impulse” bins. I collected some Silly Putty, and such, and I’ll drop those in the package. Need to get a wiggle on, as today is Palm Sunday, so time’s a’wasting.

And again. And yet again!

I’ve been working on raking our back yard for the last week. We have two acres and are surrounded by woods on three sides so I’m not apt to run out of leaves to collect. I put down a huge old tarp, rake up a heap of leaves, then drag the whole shebang out to the compost heap.  Rinse and repeat.  I spend about an hour a day at this project.

The problem is that it has rained almost every day. Fortunately, it’s not been a downpour and there’s no wind, but wet leaves are heavy.  At least I don’t have to worry about them being blown all over the places I’ve finished.