Tag Archives: Blazer

Unsafe at Any Speed

24 Feb

On Wednesday, The Squire and I worked out at the “Y”, and I came home without my keys. I not only don’t like to wear a coat (although Heaven knows I haven’t needed one this year!), but I don’t like to carry a purse, especially if I’m with my husband. So I carried my keys with the pass card for the gym, and put them on the shelf so I could exercise without knocking somebody out with them.

We got an email that evening saying they’d been found and turned in, so the dear man had to go up on Thursday morning and retrieve them.

Took a shower that night and after I’d rinsed the shampoo out of my hair I poured some conditioner into my palm and industriously rubbed it into – my face!

This morning the dog began barking at some unseen object outside, so I stepped onto the patio to see what had caught his attention.  I heard a noise that sounded for all the world as if a baby was crying.

“Oh great. It’s bad enough they bring us cats and dogs. Now they’ve left us a kid!”

The worst of it was that I never skipped a beat. It was just the way things go around here. It turned out to  be an irate squirrel, sitting in back of the cat, who paid him no mind whatsoever, pitching a fit because he was hungry. I called Eddie into the house and tossed a handful of peanuts across the concrete.

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Botheration!

13 Feb

Back in 2015 Blazer decided he had enough seniority around here to sleep in the living room recliner.  The Squire did not share that view, unfortunately.

Local Granddaughter brought down a big pet bed she had purchased for her two cats. They didn’t like it, but Blazer thought it was grand.

But – when the weather got nippy, he thought it would be nice to sleep in the recliner again, just to be up out of the drafts, y’understand. The Squire put a box on the chair. Blazer pouted.

Last night, The Squire settled into the recliner to read a book, and Blazer spent about an hour rubbing, jostling, and bumping the recliner, doing his level best to bother Poppa out of that chair.

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Watch Your Step!

17 Dec

We woke up this morning to find the entire world encased in ice. The Squire took these shots when he went out to get the paper and mail: one is a tree right outside the den window, and the other is a picture of the pond, looking toward the road. As you can see, even though it is mid-December, the grass is still fairly green.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

When I filled the various bird feeders, they were all wrapped in solid sheets of ice, and I had a dickens of a time getting them off the post. Then I had to bang on this one with a stick to loosen the lid so I could unscrew it.

Ice feeder.JPGI know the ice is dangerous and all that, but it certainly is lovely.

The Squire had to take the car out to the mailbox, as it was too icy for him to walk. Normally, going after the ail-may is Blazer’s favorite part of the day, but not this time. He’d have pulled The Squire off his feet!

And, yes, we have taken to speaking Pig Latin around the og-day, but he has begun to understand what we are saying. Too smart for his own good, that one!

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Bang, Bang!

12 Dec

The Open House yesterday afternoon went very well.  We had a good crowd passing through – all of them old friends, but quite a few of them had never been here before. My nephew and his family came up from Severn, which was really nice, as we haven’t seen them for a while. I completely dropped the ball on providing something for their two little boys to do, though. We haven’t had children under the age of seven for eons!  I did move things around so they could play with one of my dollhouses, and they were really, really careful with it. Their daughter is eighteen months old, and she and Blazer had a “hmm, what is this” going for a while. Both of them interested, but wary. The dog is very gentle, but his tail can do a lot of unintended damage!

Needless to say, by the end of the evening, The Squire and I were both completely wiped out and collapsed into bed fairly early. Around three in the morning we were jolted out of a sound sleep by two VERY loud bangs. I had opened the bedroom window, but had forgotten to brace the sash with a stick we keep in the sill for exactly that purpose. First the inner window fell down and then the outer frame joined it. Boy! Talk about being lifted right out of bed!

This morning I was playing pick up in the living room when something very large crashed into the sliding door on the front porch. I looked out the window and saw a red-tailed hawk perched in the tree beside the house, so I opened the door to survey the damages. The hawk immediately flew away, and didn’t have anything in his talons. When I stepped outside I could hear some squirrel-sized curses wafting up from the drain beside the flower bed. A few moments later, said squirrel popped out the other end, still muttering under his breath.

Obviously, the hawk had swooped down for lunch but the squirrel had ducked out of the way too quickly for the bird to change course. Gives an entirely new meaning to the expression  “hit with a fowl ball”.

Oh! Does anybody want some cookies? We have loads left over!

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All Creatures Great and Small

1 Dec

Blazer and I went out yesterday evening to feed the “back yard folks” – mostly raccoons, foxes and an occasional opossum.

First, we surprised a great blue heron down in the stream. These are the most ungainly of all God’s creatures. On a good day they look as if they’ll never get airborne, and when you catch them between the steep banks of a creek, it is even more unlikely that they will manage to reach any sort of altitude.  And I somehow doubt the dog barking his head off helped one bit. Much thrashing about and squawking. I swear that bird was cursing up on side and down the other.

And then we were startled – a mutual deal – by a small herd of deer bolting off in all directions.  They were grazing in the right-of-way behind the barn, and several of them went crashing into the woods while two high-tailed it down the bank and up the other side of the stream.

High-tailed. And that’s where that expression came from!

Blazer, poor bozo, didn’t know which way to dart. He was quite disappointed that none of his new friends were willing to come back and play, no matter how much he begged.

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Standard Time Blues

6 Nov

All last week, I had to be up at 5:30 to get myself scraped into a heap, made reasonably presentable, run a rake through my hair, and get out the door. Saturday morning – yesterday – Blazer decided 5:30 was time enough for me to crawl out of bed.

This morning, the silly dog was still on daylight time, and had me out of bed at half-past four. Thanks a bunch, puppy! I let him out, forgot to turn off the alarm, and awakened The Squire. And probably half the neighbourhood, to boot.

Gave him a short breakfast and wandered back to bed. Unfortunately, I was not able to get back to sleep as easily as I had hoped, as my Restless Leg Syndrome kicked in. Quite literally. I was all over the bed. Back downstairs, and took a second pill. As a result, I was honest-to-goodness staggering when The Squire pried me out from between the covers. Not a happy camper.

We had yet another supply priest this morning – a very nice lady named Retta.  She was very pleasant, understanding our little quirks, and preached a good sermon. We’ve had a few priests who wandered so far afield they – and we – seemed to forget what the message was supposed to BE.

And then, when we got home from church, Blazer met us at the top of the drive. No leash, and the kitchen door was wide open. Lovely. Apparently, The Squire had turned the latch, and I had followed him out without a) turning on the alarm, and b) hadn’t even pulled the door shut, which allowed Blazer to nudge it open with his nose.

I told you I wasn’t awake!

I spent most of the afternoon working on our grandson’s dollhouse. I made this up for Matthew when he was about five, and after he and his younger sister both outgrew it, the house languished first in the barn and then on the porch. Neither location was what you’d call “optimal” and it is in sad shape. I’ve ordered new wallpaper and carpeting, but the poor house practically needs to be completely rebuilt. I may invite his wife to come down and lend a hand if we want to get this job finished before he gets home in mid-January.

The original house is here: http://www.picturetrail.com/lady_anne   Scroll down to “Matthew’s McKinley”. I’ll post new shots here from time to time.

 

 

 

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Saved By The Clock

30 Oct

This morning Blazer woke me by standing outside the bedroom door and “talking” – complaining quite loudly that he was starving and what was I going to do about it? I pried open one eye and looked at the clock. 7:05. A fine thing! I don’t have to get up until 8:30 on Sunday because I don’t eat breakfast before I go to church. Grumbling mightily (The dog isn’t the only one who can do that.) I staggered out of bed and went downstairs to put him out, figuring I’d go back to bed and sleep for another hour or so.

Much to my horror, it was actually five after eight! The clock, which is propelled by some mysterious mechanism based in outer space, had assumed Daylight Savings had stopped, and rested overnight, to reset itself to Standard Time.  (The clock also tells us what day of the week it is, which, with both of us being retired, often comes in handy.)

I am just grateful that this little goblin did not attack tomorrow morning, and make me an hour late getting ready for work. That would have been a catastrophe!

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A Sinking Sensation

20 Aug

Recently, I have been displaying some symptoms of the same condition that wreaked havoc with  my grandfather, my dad, and both of his brothers. Other than extreme fatigue and forgetfulness, one of the things that plagues me is stumbling.

Or general clumsiness, depending upon your view of these things.

I also have panic attacks, which makes driving difficult. I used to take Blazer to knitting at church with me, but somebody  objected, and put up big signs that only service animals are allowed. As far as I am concern, Blazer is a service dog, even if he doesn’t wear an orange vest.

Anyway, this afternoon, I had gone up to take my nap and then came back down because I had forgotten my midday meds. The Squire stopped me just before I reached the bottom step and wanted to know if everything was OK. We spoke for a few moments, and then I stepped forward, forgetting I had not gotten all the way to the bottom. I walked off into the air, and made quite a landing, scaring the daylights out of The Squire and adding another bruise or two to the collection I already have. Didn’t do my back a bit of good, let me tell you! Fortunately, the bathroom door was shut, so although I hit my head, I didn’t end up flat on my back.

I was laughing hysterically, but The Squire, for some reason, didn’t find the episode funny.

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Beware of Falling Objects

25 Apr

After church yesterday, our friend Mac invited The Squire to go to the movies with him – some sci-fi flick or other – so I went home and they went off. It hasn’t rained here in quite a while and some of my hanging baskets were getting mighty dry. Rather than get the hose, with all that entails, I took the baskets out to dunk them in the pond.

I hadn’t bothered to change my clothes, so I bent over rather than kneeling and getting the knees of my slacks dirty. Lost my balance, and fell smack into the pond! Fortunately, I let go of the plants and managed to turn myself so that I went in feet first. I am absolutely terrified of getting anything over my face, and falling into soft mud with no way to push myself upright would have had some pretty serious consequences.

And I got my slacks messed up, in spite of it all, and possibly ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes, to boot.

Later, going up to bed, I caught my toe on one of the carpet treads and it came right off the step. The double-faced tape had dried out until it was like a shed snake skin. I showed it to The Squire, and he said he would get some new tape today, as he had to go to Lowe’s anyway for a striker plate for the guestroom door.

This morning, he trotted off to the Y, and I got the wash sorted to go the laundromat. On my way back down I hit that tread and slid the last four steps. Did not do my back one bit of good. Really lucky it was near the bottom. God does look out for fools.

Blazer has decided that he needs to go out every morning around 6 AM. He makes quick work of it, and then curls back up in his bed, and I go back upstairs and do the same. I was just drifting back off this morning when some four-star obliviot rode up the street on his motorcycle with no muffler. Probably woke up everybody from Aberdeen to Baltimore. And then a train stopped on the CSX line. It takes a mile and a half for a fully loaded train to stop, so we were serenaded for quite a while with thump-clang-bump-bump-bump-clang. Sounded as if somebody was over there throwing washtubs down a fire escape.

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Odds and Ends

10 Apr

Yesterday, The Squire and I spent most of our time ironing curtains and dust ruffles(me) and shortening and painting doors (him).

When I was working on the altar on Friday, I looked at the wrong chart and didn’t think we had flowers for Sunday, but later, while I was chatting with the secretary, I noticed the bulletin that we did indeed have flowers. In my panic I thought it was Saturday, but it was – thank Heaven! – only Friday, so I grabbed the liners and hustled up to the florist. I went up Saturday morning to collect the flowers, and then swung by church to put them on the side tables. I’d taken Blazer with me – I’ve developed a real phobia about driving alone – and he went into church with me. He has been trained not to go onto the chancel steps, but he wanders around and inspects things.

The Cub Scouts were having an indoor carnival and he went over and put his nose against the glass in the narthex doors. I could hear the boys yelling, “The dog is back! The dog is back!” so of course we had to go in and see what was going on over there. The Cubs normally meet on Monday nights and I used to go to knitting on Mondays, so Blazer was quite a popular figure over there. He wandered around, getting head scratches and belly rubs, and then we came on home.

When I got back, The Squire said he’s been painting on the front porch when a squirrel came up to the door, looked at him, looked at the seed bin, and then over his shoulder. The critter did this a couple of times, and then stood up, put his paws on the glass and started giving The Squire a real talking-to. “Table five is completely out of seed. The service in this place is dreadful. What does a squirrel have to do to get waited on around here?” The Squire got a scoop of seed and opened the door; he said the animal only went about six feet, and as soon as the seed hit the ground, he was on it. He didn’t even wait for the door to close!

About 4:00 or so,  my girlfriend and her husband (or, as The Squire phrases it, my boyfriend and his wife) swung by to ask if I wanted to ride to Costco with them. Why not? The Squire needed sodas and I was completely out of yeast, so I went along. I also picked up some Lutein for him and a bag of dried figs for myself. Managed to get out of the store for under $40.

 

 

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