Tag Archives: dumb stunts

Only Me

15 Oct

I stopped at the store yesterday afternoon, and one of the straps on my sandals came loose while I was shopping. I tucked in into the bottom of the shoe, simply for cosmetic reasons. It didn’t stay put – I didn’t think it would – so I flapped my way around to the Dollar Tree and purchased a tube of Super Glue.

Flapped back out to the car, applied a liberal amount of glue to the strap and pried the upper and sole apart to squirt a bit more stickum, before I slipped the strap back into place. I applied finger pressure, squeezing the mend together, and managed to glue my thumb to the sole of the shoe. Annoyed, I pried my thumb loose, and slipped my foot into the shoe.

The glue wasn’t completely dry, and my large toe was stuck fast. Had to peel the shoe off my foot and try again. No wonder people say being married to me is not for the faint hearted.

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Never a Dull, part 2

10 Jan

My car had a leak in the pipe that goes from the gas cap to the tank, so I left it at the garage the other night. This morning The Squire dropped me off at church for knitting while he went to the dermatologist. I was quite early, so I went into the church and set up the altar for Sunday morning.  The flowers that were there for last week were not fit to be seen for a second week, so I stuffed them into a garbage bag and headed for the dumpster.

Just as the church door closed behind me I realized I had A) locked the door behind me when I went inside, and B) I’d unlocked the sacristy door and my keys were hanging in the knob.  Today is the coldest we have had so far this winter, and blowing a gale.  Lovely.  Fortunately, I had dropped my cell phone into my pocket when I left the house this morning. I don’t normally carry it, and I hadn’t bothered with a purse either because The Squire was driving.

Normally Mac’s wife opens the building for knitting, but both of them are home sick today. I hated to drag her out of bed, but she kindly put on her bedroom slippers and drove over to rescue me. Talk about feeling idiotic!

I did learn that the incident Tuesday night involved a group of teens – a young man and two females – goofing around in the early evening. He had climbed a tree, and the branch had broken, dropping him to the ground.  Crews had come back in the daylight, and the entire tree was dead – and on private property, clearly marked with “No Trespassing” signs.

 

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Oh, My Aching Back!

19 Dec

Or, you can’t fix stupid.

Many years ago a fellow I’d dated when I was between husbands gave The Squire and me a papyrus plant. He’d been keeping it in his living room and watering it every day, but it really wasn’t thriving, so he brought it to the Rice Paddy so it could live in our pond. It grew to absolutely massive proportions, and had to be repotted once, and then split. It is about ready to be split again.

The one drawback was that the plant has to be kept above 55-F and needed lots of sun. We kept it in the living room during the winter, but that really isn’t what you’d call sunny, so by spring it looks pretty dismal. This winter, rather than allow it to fade away, we decided to move it from the house to the front porch, aka the Sun Room, during the day and bring it back in every evening.

The Squire estimates the plant weighs at least forty-five pounds.

Guess who has a bad back and decided not to “bother” her husband last week to haul the pot in and out? Yup.

My back was bothering me a bit on Saturday, but yesterday I could barely move. It was BAD. To make it the cheese more binding, I was supposed to be the chalicist yesterday. Fortunately I was able to sweet-talk another lady into switching with me.

I found some “dynamite” pain pills left over from my neck surgery last year and took one when we got home from church and another last night before bed, and I think I just might live. Not only live, but it may actually be worth the trouble!

Grandson and his wife took the baby to the doctor today; Austin has gained three ounces, but she has made an appointment with a specialist and they will see him tomorrow.

Film at eleven.

 

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