Tag Archives: thermostats

The Perversity of Inanimate Objects

29 Nov

Maybe it’s only at our house.

I have written often – and with great feeling – about the fluorescent lights that hang around our house. The one in the den only worked once every six months, and woe betide the person who turned it off by sheer force of habit. We were often reduced to using the computer by the glow of a kerosene lamp. Talk about irony! The one in the bathroom just took its own sweet time. Generally, it waited until you had done whatever it was you came in to do, and smiled at you as you walked out the door. I’ve showered by candlelight more than once.

After changing the bulbs, to no avail, The Squire bought new switches for both rooms. Both lights have worked perfectly ever since. The one in the bathroom did stumble slightly, but The Squire shook his fist at the ceiling and snarled, “You an be replaced, you know!” The light came on immediately. (I’m perfectly serious.)

The smoke detector in the kitchen is hyperactive. We have a self-cleaning oven (Woot! Woot!) so I am reasonably sure there’s nothing burnt on it there, but every time I turn it on the smoke alarm goes off. Really? Setting it on 100° F to put bread on to rise is dangerous?  Boiling water will make the thing start shrieking!  Yeesh!

Sunday night, I glanced into the kitchen as I headed up to bed, and the room was flooded! The dishwasher had decided that draining was too much trouble. Fill, yes. Drain, no.  Luckily, our friend Mac has a wet-vac, so I drove over there to grab it.  Worked a treat!

A few weeks ago the pull-shade on my side of the bed stopped working. I think the spring has died, but I’m not sure. I spent a couple of days reaching under the drapes to roll and unroll the thing by hand. The Squire suggested I switch it with the one over the window a/c (duh!) which I did. As I slotted it into position, the bloody thing unrolled  completely, all the way down to the floor! Arrgh!

And what’s with the thermostat? We have programmed it to remain at 68 during the day, and drop to 62 at 9 PM.  Every morning it has hiked itself back up to 70. Turn it down, and it will stay there until about 3 in the afternoon, and those hot flashes I keep having are not because my hormones are out of whack.

The water heater much prefers to be set at 130°, never mind what we want.

As I said, maybe it’s just at The Rice Paddy.


Stoned to Death With Popcorn

25 Feb

Other people are dealing with real problems, and I am just getting bogged down with goofy stuff.

Our thermostat has decided to become a free agent. We normally keep the house at 70 during the day and 62 at night. For the last week, it has bopped back and forth on its own. We’ll be eating dinner and realize it’s a bit chilly in here, and discover the temp is in the 60s. I’ll think I’m having a hot flash (Yes, Virginia, they can hang on until you’re pushing 80. Isn’t that exciting?) and go downstairs at 2 AM to discover the house has suddenly shot up to 70. The kitchen timer has joined this party and goes off at odd times. There are two different beeps on this contraption; a “time’s up” beep which only runs for a minute and then stops, and another very fast beep-beep-beep that tells you the food is done. That one doesn’t stop. Ever. I’ll come down in the morning and it is hanging on the side of the fridge, beeping its little heart out, with the probe tucked away in the drawer. We’ve tried placating these beasts with fresh batteries, but that hasn’t helped.

I keep telling myself that I have a roof over my head, and it is warm – or cold – and I have food to be cooked, so stop complaining; we’ve better off than half the world.

It doesn’t help.

I’ve been working on a jigsaw puzzle for the last couple of days. It is a 1,000 piece puzzle, which normally is no  problem, but this puzzle is not large enough to have that many pieces, so each one is about the size of a postage stamp, and they are all the same shape. Last night the cat jumped on the card table, and sent the entire thing onto the floor.

I think the mess upstairs is beginning to get to me.