Tag Archives: missing items

The Clock Family is Alive and Well

14 Mar

Neither of us are hoarders, and I really do try to keep a nice house, but the way things disappear around here is simply maddening.

I’ve lost a dozen linen napkins. They lived in the bottom of the corner cupboard for years and years, and now they are all gone. I can understand misplacing one, maybe, but the entire dozen? This is not the sort of item the common thief would want, is it? Most of our friends think we’re a little barmy for using “renewable” napkins instead of paper, but I don’t think anybody would take them just to make a point.

About three months ago I purchased three bundles of yarn to make a shawl. I got sidetracked and made something else while the shawl sat on the needles, but I’ve finally finished the first skein and now I simply cannot find the other two. I suppose it goes without saying that the yarn will have been discontinued if I go back to the store.

Anybody need a very short shawl? About 36 inches long and 16 inches wide.  Of course, if I unravel it to make a scarf or something, the other two rolls will show up.

A pair of earrings I lost several years ago turned up in a jacket pocket. It is not a jacket I’d have worn with those earrings, so I don’t know how they got there. A hot glue gun has been MIA for years. Even buying a new one didn’t make it show up.

And this doesn’t even begin to account for the things I just know I have in my dollhouse stash.

I just hope the Clocks bring this stuff back when they are finished.

(If you have never read Mary Norton’s marvelous book, The Borrowers, you really should. Pod and Homily Clock, and their daughter Arietty live under the kitchen in a large English house and . . . well, go read it yourself.)


Got Some ‘Splainin’ To Do

14 Jun


Back when I was working with a private doctor in Aberdeen, I used to drop off my wash on the way to work at a laundromat near the office. For $5 a load, it was washed, dried, and folded. All I had to do was take it home and put it away. (This was back when washers were $3 a load.)

The day before we left for vacation, I dropped off a “mixed load” – some whites, and a handful of colours – to empty the hamper before we headed out of town.

When I stopped by to collect my clothes, the clerk told me “we have a problem”.  On top of my basket was a pair of blue jeans, which I did not (still don’t) wear. A bunch of men’s T-shirts were folded on top, and when I unfolded them, they had pictures and words The Squire would never have worn. There might have been a few things that actually belonged to us, but the vast majority of the items were not ours.

They had hired a new person, and she had dumped out a half-dozen laundry baskets, sorted the clothes by colour and then tried to remember what things went where.

It was impossible to pile the clothes on the table and let us all grab our own items. The first customer to come in that afternoon had been a trucker from out-of-town; he had grabbed his plastic garbage bag, plunked down his hard-earned cash, and driven off into the sunset.

That poor man is probably still trying to explain to his wife how my red bra got mixed in with his clothes.

And thanks to Jim Unger for reminding me.

Hide and Seek in The Bedroom

17 Apr

A year or more ago, I mentioned that one of my pillow cases had disappeared someplace between the linen closet and the bedroom. The Squire has been complaining that his special pillow was missing. He’d spend what I considered an inordinate amount of money on a flatish pillow for me, and a practically-sleeping-sitting-up one for himself, and it was gooone!

Last night, being Saturday, I stripped and remade our bed, and decided to switch from the winter weight quilt to the lighter one for summer, which of course also meant changing around the pillow shams. I don’t bother to put our “real” pillows in the shams; I just use a old ratty pillow that nobody wants to sleep on.  I prop them up against the pillows we actually use, so the bed looks finished.

So – when I removed one of the shams, there was The Squire’s extra firm pillow in the missing pillow case!

He, of course, knows nothing about this, but if it happened before breakfast today, he wouldn’t.

He’s cute, and I love him.  And that’s all that matters.

And the Dish Ran Away With the Spoon

23 May

I mentioned a while back that The Squire and I managed to misplace a pillow case while we were making the bed. We had it, and it disappeared faster than a cat when it sees a carrier. Looked under the bed, between the bed and the cedar chest, in the cradle. I even lifted the edges of the mattress.  Nada. And it still hasn’t shown up.

This morning, we were making the bed, and The Squire noticed he didn’t have “his” pillow.  Now, I am the type to buy pillows on sale at Target, two for $7, or whatever. The last time I sent him off to the store, he got special pillows for each of us. I sleep flat on my back, and he sleeps curled up on his side, so he bought pillows specifically designed for the way we sleep. I didn’t ask him what they cost.

Apparently, his pillow has been MIA for quite a while, but he just noticed it today. We checked the guestroom bed, looked to see if it had been put into the pillow shams, dug around in the linen closet. Gone.

There is a black hole in this house.  Watch your step.