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Men!

16 Oct

For several weeks, The Squire has been complaining about a pain in his belly. And, for several weeks, I have been telling him to call and make an appointment with the doctor.

This morning, at 0-dark ugly, he slammed into the bedroom to tell me the pain was so bad he needed to go to the ER.

We got there at 6:45, and when I left at 9:30 the only thing they had done was to take his vitals. He called me at 10:30 to say they had drawn blood, and again at 11:15 to say he was in a cubbyhole and had seen a doctor, who had also marveled over his poor CMT feet* and ordered an IV, because he was dehydrated. Last time he got dehydrated, they kept him for four days.

At 2:00 he called to say they had done a sonogram, and were going to take him down for a CAT scan.

In between, I got a call from Eldest Daughter and the Rector’s Warden. We never miss church, and today, of all days, I was scheduled to be chalicist, so this caused a certain amount of consternation.

The Squire called again at 4PM to say he was free to go. When I picked him up he said they had wanted to keep him for IV therapy, but he refused. Gee, thanks, Boss. So, he has two prescriptions, which he can’t fill until tomorrow morning, and he will call the doctor, by gum. And don’t tell me if you get seriously dehydrated; I’m not buying it.

It’s a good thing I love that man, that’s all I can say.

— – – – – –

*This is pretty much SOP. We can’t begin to count the doctors (other than neurologists) who have told us “I studied CMT* in medical school, but I’ve never actually seen a patient.”  This is why we have both donated our bodies to science.

*Charcot-Marie-Tooth is a genetic degenerative demyelination of the peroneal nerves. (And doesn’t that sound impressive?)  As the nerves die, the muscles wither. If you develop it as a child, the bones “warp”, but if it kicks in when you are an adult, the pain is so unbearable that sufferers often have a limb amputated to release the tension of the muscles pulling against the tendons and bones. It was named for the three doctors who first described it: Jean-Martin Charcot, Pierre Marie, and Henry Howard Tooth.

Morning Visitors

12 Oct

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The days have been nicely warm since Matthew blew past,  but the nights are definitely cooler.

We’ve had a couple of early morning visitors, perhaps gearing up for the winter. Yesterday, I was just floating to the surface when I heard red-tailed hawk screaming outside my window, or perhaps that was what awakened me.  At exactly the same time, I heard a bullfrog croak, quite loudly, and then more faintly in the distance. I wonder if I was ear-witness to a murder?

This morning, we had a fox in the yard,  eating goodness knows what under the tree. The Squire said he was out there quite a while, nosing around. I don’t think he was eating the peanuts I put out for the squirrels, and those critters were wise enough to stay in the tree until Bre’r Fox wandered off  again.bittern

Then, later in the morning, we saw a bittern wandering around under the birdfeeder, of all places. He flew over to the edge of the pond, and apparently managed to catch enough fish to tide him over until his next stop.

I love living here!

 

A New Baby – and Winter is on its Way

9 Oct

Winter, as Chaucer said, is a cumin’ in.  We had a light rain all day Saturday, but last night was suddenly much cooler, and today the wind has been blowing about 15 mph.  That is pretty much the extent of our glancing blow from Hurricane Matthew.

And speaking of Matthew – our grandson of the same name austinbecame a father today when his wife had a son named Austin. That young man came into the world weighing in at 8 pounds, 13 ounces, and 21 inches long. Not exactly a “little” boy. He has the full head of hair that comes to all the family babies, and is a good strong nurser.

Everybody is doing fine, including Mum, Dad, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

Since the papyrus plant cannot be left out when the temperature goes below 55F, we had to drag it into the house after church today. While we were at it, The Squire removed the window a/c from the living room, and I gave that corner a good wiping down. We used the blower on the sidewalk around the front porch and generally battened down any loose hatches we saw. So much for fall housecleaning!

 

 

 

 

Another Restaurant Tale

7 Oct

This seems to be my week for remembering odd-ball dining stories. I met a group of British ladies for lunch today, and about half-way through the meal, one of them got up to adjust the curtain so the sun wasn’t shining in her eyes.

And that got me to reminiscing…

Quite a while ago, a fellow from church called to ask me if I would meet him in the morning so he could drop off his car to be repaired. “Well, if you’re going to drag me out of bed at that hour, you’ll have to feed me.” No problem. So, I trundled down to Montgomery Wards (I told you it was a long time ago!), collected Kit, and we stopped at a little diner on the way back to our corner of the world.

I sat down in the booth across from him, but the sun was shining squarely in my eyes, so I got up and went over to sit next to him. We hadn’t even gotten our breakfast when another fellow from church pulled up and got out of his car. He took one look at the two of us, cozied up on one side of the booth, and did a marvelous double-take.

I waved him in, obviously not embarrassed by the situation, motioned for him to take a seat across from us, and he immediately began squinting into the sun. I let him squirm for a few moments while I explained why we were out and about at 8 AM.  “Now, do you understand why I am sitting over here beside Kit?”

“Yes, ma’am. I think I do.”

“Good! I don’t want you going to church on Sunday and spreading any rumors about us!” He laughed, collected his coffee, and left.

I never heard a whisper about it at church, either.

Kids and Napkins

5 Oct

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Many, many moons ago, when Eldest Daughter was in the first grade, the Late and Unlamented took us all to dinner at a local restaurant.

Shortly after we were seated, Eldest Daughter left the table to go to the rest room, and came back to tell me, quite loudly, that if I didn’t like the paper napkins on the table, “They have cloth ones for sale in the ladies room for a nickel”.

Ah, the joys of motherhood.

And thanks to Norm Feuti for jogging my memory!

Sunday, Sunday

3 Oct

Yesterday, I was scheduled to read the Old Testament lesson. While I was reading, I saw a man come up the walkway and enter the building. He came into the church and stopped at the door, as if he was waiting for me to stop reading before he took a seat. Nothing unusual in that, and from the distance I thought he was a former member. But then he turned around and left the building, and I saw him go back toward the parking lot.

When I had finished the reading, I followed him outside, where he was sitting in his car, looking through the Yellow Pages. He was not the person I thought he might be, so I asked him if I could help him.

“I’m looking for a Jewish church.”

Well, I’ve never heard of a synagogue being referred to as a “church”, and given that we have a steeple with a big cross on top, it would be hard to mistake Resurrection for anything but Christian.  Synagogue services are generally on Friday evening, not Sunday morning, but OK.  I told him the nearest place I knew of was about 20 miles away. “But, if you go back down this street and turn left at the 4-way stop, the people in the house on the corner are Jewish, so they may be able to help you.” He thanked me and went on his way. Very mysterious.

After we grabbed a bite to eat, The Squire and I went up to Eldest Daughter’s for a semi-farewell party for our grandson. He is in the Reserves, and is scheduled to go to the Middle East this coming Saturday. However, his wife is “great with child” and due to deliver any day. The Reserves have told him that is she doesn’t deliver the baby before he is supposed to fly out, he can stay home until the 22nd.  We shall see.

The baby’s middle name will be the same as her father’s; he died only a short time after they got married, and this is a way to honor a wonderful dad who left us far, far too early.  Her dad’s middle name is the same as my grandfather’s first name, but he pronounced it the “deep South” way, while my grandfather used the French pronunciation. We batted that around for a while, and I mentioned that I hoped somebody would name a child after The Squire.  I don’t want to contemplate what life would have been if he had not come along on his white charger and rescued, not just me, but the girls as well.

SIL fixed steamed crabs and corn on the cob, and we all gorged ourselves.  Great-granddaughter wasn’t too sure about hard crabs; she doesn’t have the strength to break the claws with a mallet, and didn’t think much of the bits of meat her dad offered her.  GGD wanted Gran-mama to sit in Mimi’s car with her, so we “drove” to the store and she read me a story. Very interesting, that story.  Fascinating what you can find reading between the lines in a catalogue!

Just a pleasant afternoon, filled with love, laughter, as well as prayers for a safe return.

 

 

The Week That Was

28 Sep

Well, not a full week, but it certainly seems as if it has been that long. And it’s only Wednesday.

Monday morning, The Squire went off and bought new bulbs for the lights when they only needed ballasts. He had to go back to the hardware center to get the ballasts anyway, and then discovered he’d gotten the wrong wattage of bulbs. Like the Tar Baby, I just didn’t say a word. (It’s a good thing he can’t read my mind, though.)

Monday morning while The Squire was dancing with the lights, I went up to visit Eldest Daughter, Local Granddaughter, and Granddaughter-in-law. While I was there I did a load of wash, which I brought back home, fully intending to put it on the line to dry.  As it happened, the weather clouded and promised rain, so I threw the sheets into the dryer. When the dryer buzzed, I went into the back room to discover most of the contents of the water heater all over the floor.

Lovely, just lovely.

The Squire turned off the water, and hooked up the garden hose to drain the rest of the tank, while I called the folks who had installed said water heater. They came out yesterday – Tuesday. I don’t know what it says about our water, but that was a three year-old, glass lined heater with a six year warranty, with a hole eaten into it.

Yesterday morning I hopped into the car, filled the tank, and set off into the wilds of deepest, darkest Pennsylvania. I have become very friendly with a young Amish lady who had worked at the local farmer’s market until right before the birth of her son.  Linda had invited me up to visit, so I cranked up the GPS and headed off for Loysville. This little town is directly south of Altoona, and only a few miles north of the PA Turnpike.  Slightly over a hundred miles, in other words.  I must be crazy.

We really did have a pleasant afternoon. The weather was just perfect, and we enjoyed a nice lunch, then she showed me around their farm.  Chickens for eggs and chickens for market, a large vegetable garden, and offered to hitch up their horse and take me for a buggy ride. Lunch was homemade soup and sticky buns, and a glass of fresh milk. I haven’t had farm milk since about two years after The Squire and I got married. Delicious! What a difference between fresh milk and pasteurized stuff!

We talk comparative religion, and all sorts of things. She offered to make me a smoothie for the road, and then really surprised me by pulling an electric blender out of the closet and plugging it into a wall socket! They have solar panels, which she uses for a few appliances, and her wringer washer. The stove and fridge are propane, and all of the lights are Dewalt lanterns. You just never know bout these things.

Linda said a lot of the rules are changing. There isn’t enough land for all of he Amish to farm, so many of them have turned to woodworking, and other businesses, and they need computers to handle their records. They also need telephones because placing and receiving orders by snail-mail is almost impossible, and using a phone shack for business is even more so. Once you get used to having a phone for business, then you want one in the house. Linda and her husband have one in the living room; it’s a desk set, but works on a TracPhone  principle, and they use solar power to charge it.

I got royally lost coming home.  I managed to get on the Interstate, but the Get Gas light came on just after I crossed the Maryland line. Gas stations are few and far between up there, and I had to drive about six miles on fumes. Then, I couldn’t work my way back to the Interstate, so I had to rely completely on the GPS, which had been set – not by me! – to avoid freeways. I saw parts of Maryland I never knew existed. The trip up took me two and a half-hours, and the trip back was four!

Next time, I’m taking a plain old Maryland State Police road map.

Right now, we are waiting to see if this flood warning is going to amount to anything. The Squire has moved all the “floatables” off the carport, and we have plenty of drinking water and food. We did get about forty-five minutes of steady rain, but it really didn’t amount to much.  According to the Weather Channel, it is supposed to rain from tonight clear into Saturday. We shall see.

 

Aargh!

26 Sep

For quite some time I have been complaining – voraciously – about the fluorescent lights in several of the rooms downstairs.

The one in the den only agrees to come on twice a year; you must either leave it on 24/7 or use the computer by candle light. The irony of that is not lost on either of us. The kitchen and bath come on when they sense you are finished whatever you came into the room to do. This is not really problem in the bathroom; I don’t wear makeup and The Squire doesn’t shave, and there’s a nightlight that will serve for just about anything else you need to do. The kitchen is more problematical, as I often need a flashlight to read a recipe or tell how full a cup is. As I am putting the food on the plates, the light will come on – and I swear you can hear it snicker.

“Would you please replace the ballast in the lights?”

“There’s more to it than that.” This, I understand, is Husband Speak for “I don’t want to be bothered right now”.

Saturday, after flipping the kitchen switch a dozen times, The Squire went off and purchased new bulbs for all three rooms.  They now come on, but they flicker.  This would be maddening enough all by itself, but the warning sign for each of my three TIAs has been that I see flickering lights behind my eyes.

The Squire is now off to The Big Store to purchase ballasts for the fluorescent lights. I hate to say, “I told you so”. (Not really. I’m gloating.)

Great Balls of Fire!

24 Sep

We are having a Fall Festival at church in mid-October, and I have started making bread and stashing it in the freezer.

Yesterday, I made two loaves of onion dill bread, and today, two loaves of a two-toned bread that always goes over well.  We were just sitting down to dinner when the oven began making a really weird beeping noise, and the smoke alarm in the kitchen started shrieking. I have no idea what happened, but the bottom heating element had stopped working, and the broiler, the top element, was glowing. I threw a sheet of foil over the tops of the two loaves and hoped for the best, but it was no use. The tops of the loaves were burnt beyond redemption.

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Burnt Offering

We had to turn off the oven at the main switch, and those two loaves are not fit for sale.  If you cut off the top crust, they are tasty, but not much on looks.

I start my bread in the machine, and then pull it out and put it in pans for the final rising.

Onion Dill Bread

1 package yeast, or 2 teaspoons if you buy it by bulk

3-1/3 cups flour

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1 egg

Mix together, warm and add:

1/4 cup water

3/4 cup cottage cheese

3/4 cup sour cream

3 tablespoons sugar

3 tablespoons minced dried onion

2 tablespoons dill weed

1-1/2 tablespoons butter

Makes 2 8×4 loaves. Bake  at 350-F for 40 to 45 minutes, or until an internal thermometer reads 190. I generally bake the loaves about 20 minutes, and then insert the thermometer, removing the bread when the beeper goes off.

 

 

 

Happily Never After

19 Sep

On Saturday, our parish had their annual murder mystery costume party. Somehow, I got roped into playing Alice in Wonderland. (I’m quite certain I did NOT volunteer for this job!) I purchased the wig at the local Costume Emporium, found a dress in my closet that would do, and took an apron from the Colonial Costume Closet. The White Rabbit started life as a bear from the Thrift Store, but with the help of some card stock ears, he passed muster. The Squire was my wizarding friend. I think he resembles a Jedi, but he says that’s the wrong fairy tale.

It seems to be every girl-child’s dream to have long blond hair, but it is definitely was not my colour, and I thought the long curls pulled my face down and made me bear a strong resemblance to a horse. Cute.

We really did have a good time. Hansel was not there, as his sister Gretel didn’t want me to marry him, and we were afraid she’d make a fuss if he showed up. Goldie Locks was in attendance, alice-and-the-wizard as was Baby Bear, who was hot on her tracks for breaking the furniture and eating all the porridge. Our church organist was Maleficent, and did a terrific job; she is a marvelous actress. Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, and her fairy godmother, the Queen of Hearts, and various other characters.

Somebody killed Sleeping Beauty, and it turned out to be – Gretel! Didn’t break my heart. With her out of the way, now I can marry Hansel.

I’d had a scratchy throat all week, but when I got home, it was suddenly much worse. My uvula was swollen, and when I tried to sleep on my back (normal sleeping position) I kept choking, and when I turned onto my side, I couldn’t breathe. I was supposed to read on Sunday, but the Squire hustled me down to the local Doc-in-a-Box, where I was advised I had nothing more serious than a really bad cold and to keep out of other people’s way.

Lovely.

I have been blowing my nose almost non-stop. It’s amazing that my head can hold so much sh -, um, snot! Yes, that’s it. Snot! S’not funny, McGee.