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Chest Pains

12 Feb

Last night The Squire went up to watch TV while I worked on the computer, transcribing minutes from a meeting.  About a half an hour after he went up, he came back down to flop in the chair beside me and ask if I’d take his blood pressure. “My chest hurts and I’m having trouble breathing.”

Now, there’s a sentence that will make your blood run cold.

His B/P was high, but not horrendous, but I still recommended we trot off in the general direction of the local Doc in a Box. He thought maybe his problem was that he was overheated and dehydrated. The upstairs of our house can be absolutely tropical *, while the downstairs remains almost chilly. After he’d had a glass of water and rested a bit he decided he’d survive and wandered off to go to bed.   I wasn’t too sure about it all, but trying to argue with a man is seldom worth the effort.  I settled him in bed in the guest room with a glow-in-the-dark flashlight, a “sippy cup”,  and a dinner bell, then went to bed in our room, leaving both doors open.  Sometimes, it really makes sense that the medical abbreviation for Shortness of Breath is SOB.  At any rate, the dear boy did survive the night, so all is well.

It tells you a fair amount of my life and my family that, when I married the Late and Unlamented, we received a silver dinner bell as a wedding gift. I let our eldest play with it when she was teething.  The only time it ever gets used it when one of us is sick.

* When we first moved here, The Squire made a heat exchange system based on something we’d seen in Mother Earth News. He took a computer fan and attached it to a wooden “tube” about seven feet long. We installed it in the girls’ bedroom with the fan near the ceiling and the lower end just jutting through the dining room ceiling. When the temperature in their room hit 80° the fan would kick in and shoot the excess heat downstairs.  Worked a treat, but when my parents gave us a longcase clock the only place to put it was in that corner and we didn’t want hot dry air blowing on the wood.

Aargh!

9 Feb

Somewhere between getting lunch at the Amish market yesterday, and finishing up the Altar Guild Stuff this morning, I lost my purse.  This is the first time in my life I have done such a thing, and please, Lord, let it be the last! Talk about a hassle! At least, I didn’t lose my keys; when I was between husbands I dated a police officer who told me to never, ever put my keys in my pocketbook.  “If they have your wallet, they have your address, and if they have your keys, they can just walk right in.”

I had arranged to meet a friend in Bel Air to pick up a bunch of knitting yarn for the Prayer Shawl Ministry at church, and my purse was nowhere to be found. The Squire called my cell phone (Yes, dear, it is fully charged.) to see if we could locate it by the sound. No luck. We looked in my car, all over the bedroom, the sewing room, and I even poked my head into the spare room, aka the Chamber of Horrors. We whistled and shouted, and mumbled under our breath.

So, the first thing to do was cancel the VISA cards. I sat on the phone listening to Bank of America’s phone lady natter on for about ten minutes, punching numbers and cursing. Lawsy, but I  dislike those telephone systems! I did have to go to DMV to get a new license, and we swung into Target to buy a new wallet and cell phone.  At least with my prepaid phone I’m not going to get stuck with a huge bill if somebody decides to call Perth or Shanghai. I got to have fun all over again dealing with TracFone’s telephone system to get the new one set up. Press 1 for this, press 2 for that. And THEN, we discovered the activation code wasn’t scanned properly when we checked out, and we have to drive back to Bel Air to have it rescanned.

Tomorrow, not tonight.

Next up it to get a new pocketbook. I hate changing purses, trying to figure out where to put all the things that had specific locations in the old handbag.

Oh, and I lost my only pair of driving glasses.

Maybe I’ll be fit company tomorrow.  I mean, there’s no place to go but up.  Dear Lord, I hope so!

Which Way Did They Go?

7 Feb

Quite a while ago, I posted that I had lost a very nice pillowcase, which we finally found on a pillow The Squire stuffed into the sham. That makes a certain amount of sense – I guess.

However.

We had some friends over for dinner a week ago and I couldn’t find my table napkins. I have a set of a dozen hand embroidered linen napkins which I bought for a pittance when a local store closed. When not “on duty” they spend their time in the bottom of the corner cupboard, along with the tablecloths. I have a couple of ratty looking napkins we use for every day, and there’s not a paper napkin in the house – not even those crappy things you stuff in your pocket when you hit the local fast food palace.

How, how, how can they have disappeared? It’s not as if I had scooped them up from the table in a fit of panic cleaning; they seldom see the light of day.  I had to send The Squire down to Bed, Bath and Beyond to blow $10 on a package of four new serviettes. Using the good china, the sterling, and then handing folks a paper towel just won’t do it.

Beats me.

Gran-Mama Got Run Over. . .

6 Feb

. . .by  shoplifter.

I swung into Aldi’s today to pick up a couple of things. As I entered, I noticed a man standing by his cart, which was facing the door. If you’ve ever been to an Aldi’s, this is not the normal traffic pattern, so it struck me odd, but I didn’t have time for it to even register with me.  He suddenly leaned over and shoved – jammed! – a bunch of stuff into a shopping bag, and barged right past me, onto the parking lot. He nearly knocked me down.

I didn’t have a chance to even notice anything else about him, before he was out the door and getting into his car.  I did report him to the manager, but that wasn’t much help.

BTW, Gran-mama is what our great-granddaughter calls me, with the emphasis on the last syllable. The Squire is Papa, again with stress on the last part of the word.  I have no idea where she got it, but we like it.

If All Else Fails. . .

30 Jan

. . .read the instructions.

For the last decade or so, The Squire has marched into semi-annual battle with the water filter. The bottom of the filter fits over a little nub in the bottom of the housing, and the top snugs up against a matching nub under the lid. You could hold the filter in place, but once you began to screw the entire fitting together, you simply had to move your fingers, and the water in the housing  would cause the filter to float loose from its moorings.

The last time we replaced the filter I suggested using store-bought white bread to brace it in place, on the theory the bread would break up and float away. It didn’t; instead, we had a lovely moldy green lump sitting in the housing.

The Squire went to the local Big Box and got a new filter, and he and I began the tedious process of installing it. When he took it out of the package a piece of paper floated to the floor, which I bent over to retrieve.

INSTRUCTIONS: To install the filter . . you put it in dry and then turn on the water. Took five minutes, if that.

Oh, Holey Night

19 Jan

In spite of all our best efforts, now both of us have this horrible cold.  The Squire is still sleeping in the recliner in the TV room, while the cat has been helping me hold down the bed.  The Squire seems to be on the mend, but I am now in the middle of this mess.

We headed upstairs when we got back from picking up the “Dough-Nation” from Panera. The Squire settled down with a book, and I did the same. I read for about an hour, but my Restless Leg Syndrome was still giving me fits, so I went downstairs to take a bit more medicine. His door was still ajar, and he was sound asleep with the book open on his chest. I removed the book, covered him up, and turned off the light. I tossed and turned a bit, and the last time I looked at the clock, it was after midnight.

The dog started to bark around 3AM, but by the time I put on my robe The Squire had already headed down to see what all the fuss was about. Nada. Blazer started up again a few minutes before 4, and this time we both went down. Not a thing to see, but we turned off the alarm and let the dog go take a really good look. Whatever was out there was on the other side of the stream. Blazer gave it a good barking at, and returned to the house with a smug expression.

I took a dose of cough syrup and staggered back to bed, hoping for a bit of uninterrupted sleep. No such luck. Even with the fan making white noise in the background, I had a hard time falling back to sleep, and then at 7AM Eddie decided it was high time for me to come feed him.  Yeesh. Between 10PM and 7AM I managed to get about five hours of sleep.

I’m gonna go take a nap. Don’t call me. I’ll call you.

When The Squire came down at 4AM he was in his night clothes, but when I covered him up at midnight, he was still fully dressed.  He asked me if I had wakened him and told him to change, which I had not.

“Must have been a Samuel Ready fire drill.” *

*  When I was at school I woke up one morning with my jeans (dungarees, we called them) over my PJ bottoms. Apparently, we had a fire drill in the middle of the night, and I’d gotten up, dressed, and gone out to stand on the athletic field with every other girl in the school. Couldn’t prove it by me. If it hadn’t been that everybody was talking about it, and the head mistress had congratulated us on our perfect performance, I’d have guessed the girls in my dorm had played a trick on me.

 

 

 

Cast Your Bread upon the Waters

16 Jan

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAChanging the water filter on our pump is a major undertaking, and probably the most frustrating thing to be done at The Rice Paddy.  The lines on both sides of the filter must be turned off, and then the housing must be unscrewed, and the old filter removed.

Now the fun starts. You have to fit the filter down onto a sort of peg at the bottom, fill the housing with water, and then screw the thing together with the top of the filter fitting onto a little nub at the top. The water makes the filter float, and it skitters sideways every time you try to screw it all back together.

Many years ago a friend had told me that when her husband had to repair a leak in their baseboard heating system, he put a small plug of store-bought white bread into either end of the repair. The bread kept the water back long enough to solder the leak, and once the system was turned back on, the bread dissolved.  So, we put bits of store-bought white bread around the filter to keep it from bouncing up, and it worked like a charm. We were both so pleased with our selves!

Until today, when we discovered a large blob of moldy green stuff bobbing like a boat in a storm, on top of the filter.

Yetch.

Not So Snappy

15 Jan

As members of Medicare, The Squire and I are also members of Silvers Sneakers, a physical fitness program for over 65-ers.  Not every place accepts this program, but there is one not too far from us, considerably closer than the Y.

We went up today to inspect the place.  It was simply filthy, for starters. It was not much larger than our living room and dining room combined, and crammed with machines. All we seemed to see were treadmills, stationary bikes and stair-steppers. If they had anything to work on your arms or upper body, we didn’t see them.  The crowd was a rough one – all tats and greasy hair. And the less said about the “music” the better.  And, not a trainer or employee in evidence.

This is an outfit that is supposed to cater to old fogies they are setting about it all wrong. If something goes wrong, you’re on your own, folks.

The Squire called the Silver Sneakers hotline and expressed exactly how he felt, thank you very much!

Man Flu

14 Jan

Actually, it isn’t really a case of Man Flu; The Squire is really sick. He has come down with this horrible cold/flu that has been going around, and the doctor told him it would hang around for about two weeks. Snorting and sniffling, and coughing until he sees spots. No fun. Been there and done that, myself.

He’s been sleeping in the recliner ever since his surgery, and now he finds he breathes better if he sleeps in a semi-reclining position.

I’ll certainly be glad when he’s well enough to come back to bed. The cat has decided he needs to keep me company. Eddie doesn’t toss and turn, and he’s not too bad about hogging the covers. At least when The Squire needs to leave the room in the middle of the night, he can open his own darned door!

Stay Tuned

5 Jan

We went down for the weekly bread pickup last night, and I braved the frigid temps to dash into Target for a few things. I grabbed a cart and headed to the Customer Service area to ask about an item I’d ordered.

While I was waiting, a young fellow strolled past in his housecoat.  He had that carefully nonchalant expression that practically shouted “I’m sooo cool”.  Every head in the vicinity turned to follow his progress. The clerk sort of shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve been seeing pajama bottoms all day, but that’s a new one. I wonder what they’ll come up with next?”

“Come spring” I suggested, “maybe they’ll be dashing around in their BVDs. Or streaking.”